As 2017 comes to an end, I have realized that I have both done so much more than I had ever imagined, and yet not accomplished what I had expected. Focus shifted for me, from painting to running, and that’s ok! Great even! Because they both serve a special purpose in self care for me. I am hoping that 2018 will help me find the balance for both in my life.
I have a fun project that I’m working on for a friend, I am excited to share, but nervous as well because it is a little different than my usual work, and it is for someone else. The pressure of meeting another person’s expectations is really tricky for me, as I am a people pleaser and perfectionist at heart. And I have spent a few years now trying to overcome those qualities and become more confident.
So, being away from this project to focus on marathon training has left me unsure, and afraid to continue because “what if I mess it up?”. So I started the piece shown above, to allow myself freedom in play with colour and lines, before diving back into my commissioned pieces. And I’m kind of in love with it so far. It’s a new colour palette for me, and it’s so fun.
I have been listening as my son plays academy soccer, and I have learned that sometimes to get the ball forward, you must first pass it back or wide, find and make space, open up and good things will happen. These pieces of advice can apply to life as well. And I feel this painting is an example of it. It doesn’t seem like it’s a move towards getting my other projects completed, because it’s a new, unrelated piece. I do believe, however, it is a pass back or wide. Maintaining possession is a big part of soccer, and creating motivation is a big part of life. By diving into something new with no pressure and no strings attached, I am making space for the motivation and confidence needed for the other project, and by opening up, I can more easily see more opportunities for my next move.
Always making progress, even if the move doesn’t appear to move forward, because by making space, you make the opportunity to strike. Sometimes play is a necessity.
I love the challenge of this piece! This is just the early stage…just the colour blocking. I am so excited to see where this piece leads me.