I have been working on a secret project recently, which I cannot share with you yet, but I am very excited about. I have been so focused on that painting, as well as my running, that with the kids summer activities, camping, and regular household duties, there has been very little to share recently. As I look at the mess in my basement, and a stack of paintings in my dining room that no longer have homes on the walls because their places have been taken by other pieces as my art has grown, I wonder how other artists let go of their art.
I could gesso over the “old” paintings and start a fresh canvas to create something of my own. I know someone who does this. And yet, each painting, especially the multiple pieces from Cocktails n’ Canvas, carry a story or a glimpse of a moment of my journey, and I’m not willing to let that go as of yet.
I would like to sell pieces at Art Crawl, yet again, of the paintings that I could sell that are my own, I love them so dearly that it’s hard to imagine sending them out into the world. And yet, that’s exactly what they are for…to express a moment in time, in hopes of resonating with someone else, and then to go out and make others happy.
The painting in the photo above is a favourite of mine. My first large portrait, on an 18×18 inch wooden panel. I love the colours and the way they mix so much, I wanted to make a series of her or based on this colour theme. And then I got stuck, and haven’t done it. This painting is intended for a good friend of mine, and must get into the mail soon, yet I keep stalling because I want her inspiration, and her confidence and playfulness.
I have so many ideas, and yet so much fear around the creation or beginning of them all. How do I choose? What if I choose the “wrong” project first, or forget about my other ideas? Maybe I should do this or that first? What IS my style anyways?
I really need to do a serious purge right now. Last week, I purged shoes…at least 8 pairs are out of the house. I would like to get to my clothing. But when it comes to “tidy the basement”, I have such a hard time. It’s mostly my art supplies, and paintings, papers and collage material, books about art and journals for art. How can I possibly get rid of things that have so many memories of joy attached to them, or that will have a purpose once I make the time to create again on a regular basis? Does anyone else have this trouble? I have seen so many neat and tidy and organized art spaces posted online, and I just cannot seem to keep my studio presentable. I am certainly not a minimalist.
But looking at this painting, I am reminded to be courageous. To trust my wings and to spread them wide. To allow myself to fly. I can create whatever my heart desires, whenever I choose to do so. I don’t “need” things around me to inspire me, I can “live inspired” (Donna Downey). For with letting go, comes starting anew, and new beginnings are fresh and exciting!